For about 2 solid weeks, I had a firm no, that I was not going. Those were some really hard, dark weeks in my life. I know now that Satan was pulling me pretty deep.
After feeling so down and confused about life after those two weeks, I decided to set my priorities straight and make a trip to the temple. I went with two of my roommates to the Logan temple which is about 5 minutes away from my dorm to do baptisms.
It was pretty busy when we went, and so we spent a lot of time waiting on the benches. I pulled out the scriptures and read many chapters in the Book of Mormon. For the first time in what seemed like months, I really felt happy. I felt relieved and comforted. It's amazing what the temple does to clear your mind.
After leaving the font, I was waiting for the shower next to my roommate and just flat out told her, without even thinking about it first, "I need to go on a mission". She turned to me and said "I knew you would say that". And my heart smiled.
In the temple, I had realized that not ONE day went by since the big announcement that going on a mission didn't cross my mind. I knew it would be something I would CONSTANTLY continue to think about if I didn't go and something I would regret if I didn't. I need to get out there.
This is an absolute amazing opportunity and I can't express right now how excited I am.
Right after starting them, I had many missionary experiences come my way. I was already able to share the gospel with some of my closest friends and family. After talking about things with them, I was so happy and excited to share my beliefs and share the truth. I knew I had made the right choice.
My family still didn't think my decision was final. It took them another few weeks to truly understand how serious I was about it. I remember my mom called me up one day saying that my doctors appointment was confirmed, and she told me "Megan, you better write me some dang good letters." It was at that moment that I knew she would support me 100%. And at that moment where it hit me that this was really happening. I didn't get scared though, I just smiled and said "Bring it on!" :)
There is no doubt in my mind that this gospel is the truth. I have known it since I was born. I KNOW that families can be together forever. Family is what brings me the most joy in my life and I am most excited to go out and share that message with others, even if that means I will be leaving my family for 18 months. What's 18 months compared to eternity? Hah! Absolutely nothing. I want others to have this same happiness, love, and excitement that I feel.
My Lord and savior is my best friend. He is there always. He carries me through my struggles and listens to my thoughts when no one else will. He understands and he loves me more than anyone else on this world ever will. I am excited to spread his love and help others to realize that they aren't alone and that he loves them just as much as he loves me.
I'm so excited to serve. There is nothing else that I could picture myself doing for the next 18 months.
As my favorite seminary teacher once told me.
"The church is true, God loves you, and Satan hates you." It's so true.