Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Thoughts, Pondering, and Prayers

This last week was Spring Break for Utah State.

I really had no plans except to just go home for the week.

Most days I just stayed around the house, hoping to get some homework done, and especially some scripture and PMG studying... but none of that really happened.

Not many of my friends were around due to school, work, and mostly missions. It's one thing to know that your friends are gone and unreachable, but a whole other thing when it really hits you in the heart that they aren't there at times that you need them, or want to see them.

After a few days of being extremely bored and actually quite depressed because of this reason, I decided to take a trip, by myself, to Temple Square.

It was an absolutely beautiful day.

I had the opportunity to spend plenty of time in each of the Visitor Centers, Joseph Smith Building, Tabernacle, and on the temple steps.

While sitting in the North Visitors Center at the Christus statue, I had time to write in my journal.

While writing, with the sun shining through the window behind me over the temple, I was able to observe many people coming in and out of the room. Some were missionaries, some were members, non-members, alone, with a family, some were kids, and grandparents, and some were from other countries.

I observed some of the sister missionaries that were teaching a couple that had two little kids. They all just looked so happy, and when the sisters turned on the recording of Jesus speaking, I swear I saw a glimpse of the Celestial Kingdom in the eyes of this little girl that was staring up at the statue.

I saw a couple of Elders teaching a teenage boy and overheard them proclaiming their testimonies to him. I wasn't close enough to hear word for word what they were saying, but I could sure feel the spirit that was with them and even I felt peace and joy in their words.

I thought of my dear friends that are Elders already throughout the world. These are the people I had been missing so much all week. After seeing these Elders at Temple Square, I pictured my friends out doing this exact same thing and my heart smiled for the first time all week. I am so blessed to have such amazing examples in my life that just constantly remind me to do better.

It's okay that I miss them, but we're all out doing awesome things-- so no need to be sad about it.

It's insane how much I already love the people of Nebraska so much. After seeing these missionaries, I wanted nothing more than to get out in the field and share this love in my heart with the people.

I'll get there soon enough. But for right now, I still have a lot of preparing to do.

After sitting in the Visitor Centers, I wandered over to the steps on the backside of the temple. Here, I had the opportunity to just sit and read the Book of Mormon for an hour or so.

It was so peaceful and such an amazing experience. I encourage everyone to just take a day to go by themselves to be more open to receiving inspiration and clarity. It really helps.

Ever since I've gotten my call, I do catch myself at times letting Satan get into my thoughts....

Dang it.

Suddenly that tank top on the Target commercial looks 10x more cute and I want to try it on.

Suddenly I'm wishing that i'll be home in 8 months in order to go to the Catching Fire midnight premiere.

Suddenly that bikini and those shorter sun dressing are finding their way into my work store.

Suddenly Harry Potter sounds a lot better than reading my scriptures.

Suddenly my body is becoming exhausted faster and i'm wanting to sleep in and go to bed earlier without prayers.

Suddenly these pop songs are entering my mind and i'm realizing how much i'm going to miss music and concerts.

Suddenly I just want to eat all the chocolate in the world. (Okay, so that's not new)

And i'm still having the hardest time staying focused on any one activity. Whether it be homework, studying, exercising, listening to a lecture, or even concentrating on conversations with friends.

And i'm having the weirdest mood swings... So I apologize to all those who I socialize with :/

Often times I just want to be alone and in isolation.. realizing that I can't' do that with a companion.


And it will be worth it.



This is the map in my room; full of all my friends on missions.

The Church is TRUE. And God loves you.

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